I had a conception, well kinda, sorta. Okay I just had a slight realization.
Has anyone ever checked out http://blackgirlsareeasy.com/ ? If you haven’t and you find yourself really torn up inside, do so. This man tears into you and tells you the truth, in the funniest way possible but you can’t help but respect him. It’s what women that are trying to understand men want, complete honesty.
Yesterday, I read his post, “Mr. Emotionally Unavailable”, my only issue is that I didn’t see this 4 months ago when I started to date a “Mr. Emotionally Unavailable.” I did everything this blog said, I realized this man was emotionally unavailable because he took a chance on love and he got hurt, but to me I felt like I could have changed that. I felt that if I did everything in my power to make him see that not every woman is like the woman that broke his heart, that he would give us a chance. In the end, I suffered a WHOLE lot, I may have even been pushed back years emotionally, for someone who ran. He didn’t even have the decency to tell me what it was, he ran back to the woman who broke his heart, with no words.
After reading this blog, I realized I’m more than worth it and I should have served him a big F-YOU from the start. Although, he didn’t hit it, my V-Jay did NOT get moistened for him, we hadn’t even reached that stage yet and I figured it was because emotionally he wasn’t ready and at least I can respect him for that; yet my emotions are still shattered. So we’re not quite what was described in the article, but I related a lot more than I should have.
So through reading this blog, I realized that we as women need to stop accepting excuses from men. I know I’ve heard men complain about how some woman did him dirty. But if a woman did that and constantly complained about heartaches and pain, the world would label her as an angry black woman.
Why is there such a double standard for men and women after all in the end we’re still humans searching for realistically the same thing. If excuses are all he has, maybe from the start we just need to realize that we’re too grown to accept the bullsh!t! Men aren’t our children why is it that our maternal instincts kick in to accept a challenge that our heart quite frankly isn’t ready to take on?
I also don’t know how other women are, but I usually take the stance that I don’t like to seem as if I’m in your business, but after my experience with Mr. E.U. I realized I need to get up in any man’s business that wants to date me. It is after all my gad damn business if my emotions are involved. Not only did the article on “Black Girls are Easy” remind me of my stupid mistake, but I’m reminded of it when I realized what was going on with Mr. E.U. when we were still dating. Men often take the stance of “don’t get in my business because I don’t get in yours.” But this is stupid and any man that wants to be with you but tells you that, is hiding more than one thing. He’s either suffering from a stupidity syndrome or he’s been lying to you and doesn’t want to give you a chance to uncover the truth.
Gad-Damn, reading that blog always makes me angry because I realize, I may be a good woman, but I’m doing this dating thing OH SO WRONG.
Let’s sum up what I’ve learned so far by subscribing to that blog:
1. Ask questions: Get ALL up in that man’s business. This affects you, don’t risk shattering your emotions like I did to seem as if you’re not like every other woman.
2. Protect yourself: I don’t just mean wear a condom. If there was a chance you could wear a condom on your heart, I’d advise you to do so. But if someone is making you pay for what someone else did, leave him the hell alone. Don’t reward his bullsh!t with love, some men don’t deserve that and in the end unless you break all the rules and establish what it is from what it’s going to be, he won’t see what it is you expect him to see. They’re men, not men with women’s emotional thoughts.
3. Play Your Role: I HATE to hear this, but I’m going to say this and keep it 100 percent real. If he doesn’t want you to be his girlfriend because he has a fear of commitment, kick it like the bitch that can’t get a commitment because of fear. What do I mean by this? Don’t drop your panties, I know I’m glad I didn’t. Don’t feed him, don’t cater to him, I’d even say don’t cuddle with him but some people may think hell I’m going too far. But it is what it is, we can’t continue to reward these men when they don’t even want to take a step toward us. So if you’re just a friend, kick it like you’re too good to get down with him. Don’t play the role of an unofficial girlfriend for an unofficial boyfriend. You’re worth more than that, and I mean it.
4. Realize your worth: Don’t wait until the situation gets out of control to remember what you’re worth. Remember what you’re worth prior in order not to get in a situation that compromises who you are and makes you question if you’re really worth the BS. One thing I always say, you can be the best woman in the world, you can have all the magnificent talents if a man doesn’t want to see it, there’s nothing you can do but BOUNCE. Don’t wait to get in a situation that is going to make you feel like an a$$. Observe the man, talk to him, ask questions then evaluate if it’s worth your time or whether you’d get into it and you’ll play the role of the ass.
In the end, I’m simply sharing the stories of my single life to you. I’d like you to listen to me, I’d like you to learn from my experiences. Most of all, I’d like to empower every woman that reads this blog to continue to be who she is, but learn from others so when her time comes, she isn’t another statistic. That is all I’d like to do. But I can give you all the tips, all the stories and all the jokes if you don’t feel they apply to you and you don’t need to listen, that’s fine. But if you can relate to anything I’ve been saying just put it in your memory book and apply. Women are amazing, we’re all worthy in our own way. God made us to stand out and to be way more fantastic than what some of us settle for.