I was listening to a throwback by Lil Wayne called “Grown Man” and he said, “Might have done a lil’ dirt and left a few of them hurt. But whatever has occurred they all got what they deserve.” And I thought back in the day I might have bumped to this without analyzing properly what he was saying, but now I’m thinking, grown man, that sounds more like lil man sh!t!

Isn’t it amazing that living in today’s society we allow ourselves to fall victim to what rappers, singers or reality stars are depicting life and love to be rather than defining it for ourselves? What I’m trying to say is according to Weezy, he’s done women wrong but whatever happened they got what they deserved, some people live life according to that. Others that step away I would personally define as they are on their grown up sh!t.

Is society hindering our men from becoming better men or better yet being on their grown man sh!t? Are the standards we as women set for ourselves allowing men to be who they are but on the worst possible level? 

For the longest, I had a standard of what it was to be a man. I’m not a man but I have a father that is married to my mother and has been the biggest inspiration in my life. He’s a role model for me and by his actions I know what to expect or what to set my standard to. It’s because of this, I continuously redefine what it is I expect from a man. Situations or circumstances teach us a lot about ourselves, they teach us what we can stand for versus what we can’t deal with. It’s the same with a woman’s standard of a man.

Not every woman has a high standard, most women will accept the bare minimum. This doesn’t encourage a man who already has daddy issues and a contemptible opinion of what being a man is. Most days, most men think because they’re of a certain age, that makes them a grown man, I’m sorry to deflate any bubbles you may have had of that notion. It is completely wrong.

In my opinion, a man is defined by the way he treats others around him, how he handles his responsibilities, how he positions himself in life and more importantly how he chooses to set examples for the people around him. I’ll give you an example of a man versus a man that has grown and is on the grown man sh!t: A man that handles his responsibilities, has a career feels as if he answers to no one, and even if you’re the woman in his life you’ll be subjected to knowing information he feels you should know is just a man. A man on that grown man sh!t would realize the key to a functional relationship is to respect the other party. Keep her happy because if she isn’t, you’ll be unhappy. That means answering questions, being forthcoming with information, making any woman he is with secure. Don’t get me wrong, any man won’t just do that, but a man that has experienced life and has allowed life to properly shape him into the man he know he needs to be.

The man on the grown man sh!t is the type of man more women need in their life. I firmly believe we as humans are jaded, and our experiences make us that way. I sometimes call myself a sad optimist, as I have all reasons to be jaded but I still believed that the man I dreamed of existed and not to flaunt, but he does! For too long I’ve had regular men trying to get me accustomed to their self defining actions of what it meant to be a man, that it frustrated me. I knew if I submitted to this type of behavior that I would be entirely miserable as I knew it was a way for a weak man to get a woman that he knew was stronger than him to concede. So what did I do? I resisted and I’m glad I did.

Because now, I’ve had the blessing to meet a man solely on his grown man sh!t and it feels liberating. He’s allowed his experiences and what he has done to women in the past to shape him up into a better man. This inspires me to be a better woman, already.

I’d like to challenge my female readers to define for themselves what a man is and seek to find a man that fits the qualities of your definition. Allow yourself to resist weak men and find that man that will make you feel like a real woman and push you to be a better you!

Love ya’ll! xoxoxo