I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not perfect. As a woman, I’ve done many things I’m not proud of for someone I was in deep like with or even love. I’ve sacrificed school, money and time for men that weren’t worth it. But where would I be without these lessons? They made me the woman I am, and because of that I like to reach out and change the direction any of you may be going in.

I have cooked food, delivered it, made breakfasts, packed lunches and the list goes on for a man that in my humble opinion was just using me. I convinced myself, if it was me he would have done it back. Or this is what it takes to be a good woman. Ladies, if this is you, please STOP.

You know what’s the best quality of women? Our maternal instinct. That instinct we have to take care of others. It is our best, but it can also be our worst. We take care of men who should be taking care of us. We do more for a man than he’ll ever do for us and we convince ourselves that, this is what you do for your man. Most women are doing these things for men that aren’t their own. Remember the unofficial girlfriend I spoke about? Yeah they exist, and don’t be ashamed, we’ve all been there but boo, you need to STOP. You will only regret and hate that man when you realize what a total ass you’ve been.

You may be saying, my story is mine. I’m not in your bedroom. Trust me I’m not, and my story is my own. But be a woman don’t be a man’s doormat. Be strong yet be the woman he needs, but do this for your man! Not a man who plays his cards right and has you being Mrs. Unofficial. No! You’re better than that. These men will take and take and take. Why shouldn’t they? You have a horse, ride it! I would, that’s what women do to men with no backbones, suckers who will do anything just to be with us but don’t realize the main ingredient to make us want them; a backbone.

Society label women that desire a man to take care of them, gold diggers and needy women, correct? But what do you label a man that you take care of? Your man? Let’s be real, that man is pathetic and you need to stop being a mother to him, make him grow up. Stop lending him your car, showering him with gifts, delivering him food because behind closed doors we all know you’re not getting anything in return, just lip service to keep you calm at night.

Let’s lay it out on the table. If you meet a man and he tells you he’s not sleeping with someone else, he’s lying. Unless he’s gay, he’s lying. If he’s the type of guy that’s looking for a relationship he will tell you what was going on and then tell you he either ended it or didn’t. Most men don’t do this, most men are honest and some are honest to a certain extent. You might be at home cooking for him, lending him your car, playing wife and  thinking when he’s ready for a girlfriend you’ll be first in line. Honey boo, let me tell you…if this man makes you his girlfriend email me so I can send you some lingerie for your first night as an official couple. More than likely you’re competing, he’s dating several women and he has you as his main girl, but you don’t know. Other women are buying your unofficial man presents, dropping him food, even providing the nookie when you’re busy. Do you see where I’m going with this?

If you don’t, here it is in black and white. Take care of yourself. If you have a job so your needs are met. If you don’t have a job but you’re managing to give this man your all, you need to be roundhouse kicked in your face. Any man that is allowing you to take care of him without his “man wiring” going off, is using you. You’re not his only woman, you’re just the woman stupid enough to take care of him while accepting nothing back in return. Either way, be smart about it. Yes you like him, but what are we taught men are supposed to be? Why isn’t he doing this? Bad situation? A man would find a way to take care of his, regardless of what his situation is. Don’t be his doormat, be that bitch that checked him at the door!

Love ya’ll!! xoxoxo