Hey Guys, TI here with something to share. I’m new to this blogging thing so bare with me. Just as the title implies though everything I **** apparently turns to gold. No I’m not tooting my own horn just keeping it really real with you and I’m sure there are a few ladies out there who feel the same way. Don’t judge me just yet though…read on.
Let me start by saying I’ve had less than 5 sexual partners *shines halo* all of whom seem to be doing great for themselves and I’m happy for them. No salt here. When we dated though, honey chile boo boo that’s a different story. I got the busted versions of these dudes. The broke, I don’t have a job, buy me this get me that versions.
One of em has a house and 2 cars now, another is married with a baby girl and the last one?…wellllll let’s just say I’m waiting on him to stumble on this million and sign a book deal.
I love that they’re successful but when they had nothing I was there. I put so much into each relationship that most times I lost myself. The entire relationship (or lack thereof) became me taking care of them and pushing them forward. I put my wants and needs after their wants and needs. Its hard wanting more for someone than they want for themselves and what was even harder was watching them go on to pursue those dreams after me with someone else.
I’ve always been a sucker for love. Doing what I thought I should to make/keep my man happy even though these guys had little to offer me; well, besides false hopes and dreams that is. I’m a dreamer of sorts and when you weave me a pretty tale chances are I’ll probably believe you.( If I like you enough) Each guy had one thing in common though, they all had some sad sob story and strangely enough that made me want them even more. I’m the kind of girl who loves a challenge and taking on projects is clearly my thing, whether it be professionally or in my love life. When I take on these “projects” I put my all into them. My wallet (my poor poor wallet :'(), my time and my box were all apart of the deal. Especially the box.
When he wanted it he got it. Even if I didn’t want it. He likes it this way? I’ll do it that way, so many pieces of lingerie and toys were bought. who the hell was I?! Why was I so eager to please these men? What about what I wanted? I wish I had asked myself these questions before I had dove head first into a frickin wall. *sigh* . Poor little tink tink. I’m a quarter of a century into this thing called life and I figured its time for a change. NO MORE PROJECTS! What am I 6 years old? I need a guy who’s gonna compliment who I am, who’s going to want just as much for me as I would for him ( maybe even more) and one who has his damn own. Most importantly I’m going to put me first. I’m done playing Ms. Anastacia Steele to these wannabe Christian Greys. (Cause they were broke yall :'(… So broke).Oh well… You live and you learn right? Ladies please don’t allow these men to take you for a fool. When they find a donkey they will ride the brakes off that ass. Always put you first and there’s no way you’ll fail.