We should know the key to a happy relationship right? I used to think it was good sex, great communication and an even better friendship. But these days it’s all those things and keeping your friends out of your relationships.
Friends, yes that word. Spice Girls sang years ago, “If you wanna be my lover you gatta get with my friends..” I sang along with Spice Girls as well, thinking yes we come as a package. I wish I could shake the younger me right now. No, you don’t come as a package. You and your child are a package, you and your pet but not you and another human being you have no blood relation to!
We all love our friends, I know I do and I’m happy I don’t have the friends that pry in my business. I know who is in their life, I have met him, in some cases I haven’t and I’m perfectly alright with that. As long as you treat her with respect, love and honor her, what you do is not my concern. But let me see you with someone else and then….Yeah, I don’t want any police showing up on my door after this post.
But those people who love their friends, take their advice and allow it to ruin their relationship. I’d like to speak to you! I’m an adult and I hope you are, reading this sometimes X-rated blog, but you need to create what I’ll dub a “Friendship Boundary”. What this means is, keep the intimates of your relationship to yourself. To further explain I’d give a scenario: We all want what’s best for our friends (well if we’re really friends) and if you know you’re in a situation where you’re not exactly proud enough to show the world, keep it to yourself. Because I know we all have low moments, where we accept less than what we deserve because of how we feel for someone. BUT “friends” have a tendency to encourage you to go out and do better, even if they’re not doing better. Their encouragement can range from meek to over extreme, in some cases feeling a sense of resentment towards you because they know you deserve better and in some cases you do. But until you’re ready to accept and do better for yourself, you don’t need anyone else in your business making a situation that is already bad, any worse.
So if your relationship is a secret, and this can be for many reasons ranging to either party isn’t ready to make it official or someone doesn’t know if they want a relationship but yet they’re still holding on, keep it to yourself. Not everyone that smiles in your face and calls you a friend is truly a friend. Not everyone will understand YOUR situation. Only you and him/her know what it is you’re going through. Don’t allow “friends” to pressure you or make you feel a certain way. You created this situation, only you should know how to deal with it.
You don’t have to accept shade or snide comments for being in something that you’re comfortable in. If you don’t want people judging you, create your “friendship boundary”. People can’t talk your business when they don’t know it.
I’m out! Love ya’ll xoxox