I honestly struggled with what to write about. So many things are on my mind, but this one is what I think women need to hear the most..
We apologize for the way men act, all the time. We make excuses for their actions to our friends, to our family members, anyone that condemns their actions. But why? A man will not defend your actions, or make excuses for you so why do we do it?
Everyone knows the abused woman story. She’s getting punched for breakfast, lunch and dinner; the scars are visible and so is the pain. You sneak up on her and she jumps a mile and she grimaces when you touch her, the classic signs of an abused woman. If this person is a close friend or family, you encourage her to get help and most importantly leave that man. Here the excuses start, “he’s just going through stress”, “he just lost his job” or “he apologized”, but nowhere in there do I hear but I broke my iron cast skillet over his damn head. Even the women in the worse situations make excuses for her man, but why do we do this?
A man is the one creature that can show us exactly who he is. Whilst the women is the one creature who can see exactly who you are, but ignore it because it isn’t what she wants to see. If a man shows us he’s an insecure prick, why don’t we accept that anything we do he’s going to have “reservations” about, he’s not going to want to talk and make things right because in his mind his insecurity is okay. But a woman myself included would stick around, hoping it gets better or we’ll see something in him that in most cases he’ll never be. Just because someone has the potential to be better than they are, doesn’t give us the right as women to fall in love with the guy that he’ll never be. There’s a withering line between who a person is and who a person can be. We can all be greater than who we are, but we aren’t there yet so who is the average John Doe to fall in love with someone we’re not, a regular ass is what he is.
All I’m saying is the man shows us he’s an ass, why are we apologizing expecting this ass to turn into Prince Harry! Is that what the world has come to now? Our mind can create straight characters out of regular people?
As women, we need to start seeing and accepting things for what they are. Stop apologizing for the actions of others, we are only responsible for ourselves. The actions of another are actions that whether carefully calculated or the spur of the moment, represent them. We can’t sit and make excuses for grown ass men. They won’t make excuses for us!
So I’ll challenge you, before you make an excuse for a man’s character, pause and don’t do it. A man is defined by who he is, his actions and how he treats others. If he abuses you, there’s no excuse in the world for him. If he’s insecure the only excuse we can offer is he’s been hurt but doesn’t know how to GTF over the hurt and move on. No one makes excuses for us after all, black women are labeled everyday and I don’t hear one person making an excuse for us!
I’m out! xoxoxo