Hey Lovelies,

Sorry I’ve been M.I.A! I’m on vacation and kinda got lost in the world of sleep, movies and books! I hope everyone is doing well, enjoying their weekend and such.

But what I wanted to discuss was, giving your all. You know the saying, “why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free”, but if you have to show that you can actually produce milk when necessary how do you draw the line between giving your all, or giving just enough?

In a perfect world, a good woman can do everything her man wants and he’ll want to marry her because she has shown that she possesses what it takes to be his woman. But in this world, this world right here, a woman can do that and still end up without the man and losing her pride over what had seemed like the perfect relationship.

So where is the separation? How do we separate ourselves from playing the wife and being the actual girlfriend? The sad part about this is in our culture, there is no separation. In the Caribbean, being a wife and a girlfriend is the same thing as opposed to Biblical culture where the two are vastly different by actions. In the Bible, shacking up is prohibited but in the Caribbean as well as most places in the world, shacking up is like going to the club, regular. But like most women, I’m afraid of giving too much of myself and not being seen as marriage material because in every situation I give my all as it is my last.

Then we have married women telling us, don’t play wife for men who are just your boyfriends. But I’d like to ask them, so how’d you get where you are? Did you give him sex when he asked? Cooked when he was hungry? Then turned around and said “oh I didn’t play wife”? The only thing we don’t do is eat these men asses. I always find it funny, we tell each other what not to do but we turn around and do it. Do you know what playing wife isn’t? Can anyone answer me this question? Because as it stands, in our culture we don’t differentiate. We play wives until we find someone who sees this and values it.

What I don’t get is, why? Why do we play wives to men who don’t know how to play husbands? Most men think because they make money, have a car and take care of their responsibilities that’s a husband. However, IMO that’s just being a man, that’s what you’re supposed to do. But what do you do for these women who play wives in your lives? DO you love them, cherish them, respect them, make sure that no one else takes their place? Some of this is foreign to some men, so let me tread lightly.  Really, if I’m giving you what you need and what you want whenever you want it, in terms of food and sex, what am I getting back in return for a beaten, bruised and assaulted pu$$y? No answer? That’s what I thought.

A guy explained this to me. I asked him how do you give your all without giving too much? He told me this was an oxymoron, because in relationships you’re supposed to give your all and that’s what makes you marriage material. Ya’ll ignore him, he’s one of a kind, the type that exists in the world with marshmallows and skittles in the sky.

But seriously, how do we do this without giving away too much? What do we do so that when we get married, we surprise the hell out of our husbands? Or is the man that we’re supposed to be with going to be enough that he keeps surprising us everyday and we keep a permanent smile on his face?

Love ya’ll xoxoxo