I'm a single girl dating in the city. Sometimes it's funny

Tag Archives: keep it real

Good Morning Lovelies,

And what a GOOD MORNING I plan on starting you guys with today. Please do take the time to enjoy my throwback courtesy of Profyle.

I’m glad we got the pleasantries out of the way, now I’d like to personally ask you for 10 minutes of your time to tell you of my epic discovery of the breed “mingy liars”. Yes, I did say mingy liars. Now I’d like to present exhibit A and quite frankly the only exhibit this story will need.

Exhibit A is secretly married, lives with his wife and several family members, has a baby  daughter, a job and his own business on the side. To the world he presents himself as a single father (go back and read that again)  that has several family members living with him and is doing well. To a young woman simply browsing, this is fine. Although, the majority of us would have preferred for him to not have a kid, but that’s another story for another post.

So he meets this young lady, spins lies about what he does, his background etc. He realizes she’s into the church so he invites her to church one day and attempts to win her affection. Deceptive, Deceptive, Deceptive.  However, stopping him is the young women’s ability to just jump into something. You see her past prevents her from jumping into the unknown without knowing the full details. God bless her for her experiences.

Let’s fast forward this story to where it gets interesting. In my previous post, I listed all a woman really wants in a man. Never did I include a liar and drama correct? Well exhibit A had Moet taste with a fountain water budget. Yes, on top of being deceptive he was cheap.  He expected her to pay for everything ranging from drinks to  lunches. Now, don’t misunderstand what I’m describing his situation to be as “all women want is men money.” Because that is incorrect. Most women make their own money and most women can take care of themselves. However, what no woman wants to do is have to support a man. Any man. We were bought up in a society that molded us into the thought that the male was the provider, that a man’s pride will not allow him to take from us or allow us to take care of him. That is the world we live in, so don’t get confused and start feeling yourself because it is not the case.

He lied uncontrollably about everything, it didn’t take long for her to decide enough was enough. Little did she know, courtesy of Exhibit A how deep in a web of deceit she was in . Shortly, she was told that not only was Exhibit A married but the same house that she had visited the wife lived in. That he wasn’t a single father and he was married to the mother of his child. Quite the opposite from telling her his baby mother and him were not together, and he had promised his mother before he made another child he would get married. He said he wasn’t married at his age because he was “good”. Whatever that meant..

The young woman was shocked beyond means not only by this newly acquired information but because of the fact that one of his friends had told the woman that exhibit A relayed that he had told her. He had told his friend that he briefed her about showing up unexpectedly among other things. Imagine her amazement. To her this was a friendship that had to come to an end, he wasn’t her type so she was done. But now people were looking at her as if she was a home-wrecker, a bad b*tch and simply loose. Poor Girl.

Now, this is where it gets real. In this world, women would cheat with you especially if you’re married because it means no attachment and no drama. Women are no longer fragile and against cheating, they’re doing it and better than most men. So knowing that, what is wrong with being honest. Let her know what she’s getting herself into. Give her the choice to “date” you or to leave you alone. Warn her! What if his wife had found out about her and came at her? She would have been caught off guard because all she knew was what he provided. But no, Exhibit A decided that he’d lie about it to see how much he could have gotten away with. Mingy Liar.

Now this brings us to the present. Women what are WE going to DO in this environment? Some of us are looking for something real, but we don’t know these people we date. We don’t know what kind of situations they’re putting us in, all we know is what we are told. How do we battle this?

My advice is keep it casual. There’s no real way of knowing who you are dating but keep it cool and friendly. DO your research, ask your friends if they know about this person, in fact use GOOGLE. People not just men are deceptive & you have to protect yourself. Go for a few dates, talk a lot, don’t be afraid to ask questions and do a follow up. You have a right! Dating is an audition into your life. You do not want to let an Exhibit A into your life. Even for friendships, you don’t need friends that can’t be honest with you.

Remember to always put you first.

Love ya’ll xoxo