I'm a single girl dating in the city. Sometimes it's funny

Tag Archives: relationships

Hey Lovelies,

I just wanna kill you

I’ve been missing! I know! Please forgive me! It’s the end of year and I’m trying to keep afloat, but I hope everyone is ready for the Christmas Season, I know I am. Mistletoe anyone?

I guess I can’t travel with my own mistletoe, for free kisses? Okay then…but what I wanted to talk to you about was the “Honeymoon Season”. You know when everything is good with your beau, you’re gazing lovingly in each other’s eyes, falling asleep cuddling, waking up to morning breath and wood? Too much? I figured! But the time in your dating that everything is perfect and you feel that FINALLY the Universe has heard your requests. Yea, I love the honeymoon season, unfortunately honeymoons don’t last forever, they’re just a phase.

I think it’s quite frankly unfair, why can’t I lay up in the pool eating chocolate strawberries with my beau for the rest of our lives? Who would make the money right? I guess. But what happens after this season is done? After you’ve settled and realized the man that made you smile and do all these wonderful things is also the demon that lies plump on your chest during arguments. Do you leave or realize that this is where the best couples are made?

When it all fades away and the delicious man that you couldn’t stop staring at is a demon fiddling with your strings on a daily basis, after you’re almost sure you just want to wring his neck, you can’t stop thinking about his eyes, how he fills out his clothes so nicely and how much you hate arguing with him. That’s when you know it’s time to thug it out and stay with someone you obviously can’t see yourself without, at least for now.

The lust is gone, no longer am I daydreaming about putting chocolate all over his body and licking him from head to toe, or sneaking my hands in his pants but I’m trying to calm down after allowing rage to get the best of me, I’m trying to remind myself that God rules over me and I can’t kill another human being no matter how easy it would be.

Is it safe to say that my honeymoon season is over? I bet, after watching “Why did I get married Too?” tonight my heart softened a little towards him. I realized that every couple fights, even the best ones. Being humans we’re bound to be at each other’s throats, but the fights make you feel as if it’s the end because every time you’re more angrier than the first.

But I swear everything is exactly how it’s meant to be, it’s easy to just lash out on your S/O but even harder to realize that there’s a reason they’re the way they are. If you care enough, be that person that stayed with them when you should have left. Be the person that’s the sweetest person in the world, even when they don’t deserve it. Personally, that’s hard for me because when I’m hurt I back away, but when I realize the type of person he is without all his flaws shining, it makes me just want to draw closer to him, hold his hand and promise to always be there. But then I think about what I’ll personally have to endure to be the person that he needs and I ask myself, “is this worth it”?

We often say no one or nothing is worth damaging ourselves, but what if being there for someone that means a lot to you also builds your character. A person is never too damaged to teach you something or to educate you on issues but we have to be able to realize when we have something good no matter what clouds it, or when someone is just a sour old douche bag.

So what do you do? Get angry then get happy, be mad, but remember why you fell for him/her and enjoy the moments. Nothing lasts forever, but memories created together can last a lifetime.

I’ll be back tomorrow, I really have an issue I want to vent on.

Love ya’ll xoxo

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Hey Lovelies!

It’s been a minute but truthfully I’ve been dealing with so many emotions that writing seemed to make it worse. But I’m back and excuse the emotion I don’t know where else to channel it without crying…yes I said it, crying. An emotion I only used when I’m either hurt or mad, in this case beyond angry is what it is.

I’m tired, how many times have you heard this being said from a black woman? LOL not to crack a joke but I had to break the mood. But I’m tired, I’m truly exhausted and I’m ready to take the first lesbian up on her offer. I’m in my mid-twenties, I understand women mature faster than men, but at this point in my life I rather not play any games. That’s the problem some men confuse game with playing games and think they have this figured out. Playing games is when you display signs of not being ready for something you have previously stated you were ready for, and when confronted telling a person what it is you think they want to hear. Game is being completely honest with that person with your actions and words and letting them decide on their own their course of action. Why we as men and women haven’t realized the stark differences, I’m not completely sure. But I wanted to clear that up for anyone that is playing games thinking they’re the man, you’re not you’re a child.

Why am I tired? I’m ready to settle down, I’m looking for love and a real commitment. But I seriously don’t remember relationships being so stressful. The last one I was in was almost 3 years ago and I don’t remember anything other than being happy I walked away.  But it is incredibly stressful dealing with someone who has expressed his readiness, treated you like a queen and is now sending you mixed signals. Maybe I’m too much of a pessimist, I look at this and I see someone who’s holding on to someone/something else while still holding on to you. Someone else, perhaps an optimist might see differently, who knows.

This takes me back to honesty, yes being honest hurts people, but I think I’ve said before I rather you be honest with me, hurt me and still have my respect. Rather than you lie to me continuously to “protect” me,  end up hurting me and I don’t ever want to speak to you again. But unfortunately it is sad that as a woman I can find women more likely to agree with this train of thought than men. I…..just….don’t….get…it.

Can someone help me out? Fill out a blank? What am I missing??


Excuse me, would you like some sun? Cause you’re shady as f-k.

Hey Everyone,

Single Island Gal here again. I know ya’ll didn’t think I was done for the night. Cause I’m not, but hopefully after this I’m done.

Drake said it best, “I still don’t have time for an iffy bitch.” In this case, I still don’t have time for an iffy man. Okay, peep this. As a woman I’ll be the first to tell you, I’m moody, I have my days where I feel fat, some days I’m insecure and this list can go on. But I lay out my faults out there and I do not run from them. If you can’t accept me at my worst, you don’t deserve at my best. Now with that being said, it doesn’t take much to turn me off and away from people especially men.

As it stands, I’m single, I don’t trust men, I’m bitter, I’m jealous and I’m jaded and I have EVERY reason to be that way. But I don’t show everything I just named to people. When it comes to dating people would describe me as an optimist. I believe in happy endings, I believe that some man some day will show you why it didn’t work with others. I give people chances, sometimes second and third chances, but because of this weakness I can be the first to tell you watch what you do or say around me, I will cut you quick and I wouldn’t f-k with you.

Now, on to the topic of a shady man. Being shady is the ONE thing I hate. I always, write to you guys about honesty in a man. I value it, I cherish it, even if it’ll hurt me I rather respect the absolute crap of you than hate you because you lied to me and disregarded my feelings. I’m honest with everything I do when I’m with someone because I know and strongly believe that perception is everything. You may not be doing anything, but if someone sees something that they don’t deem as good or honest, then shit can hit the fan. So I give you all my friends, I tell you when and where I’m going because I’m respectful. Do I expect it back? HELL YES.

In regards of anything I do as a courtesy to you and your feelings, I expect it back even though we’re not the same people. I believe when you step to someone and say you want to be with them, you put their feelings on a pedestal and treat them in that way. Now with all of this being said, we live in a free world, well some of us. But if you don’t want to do something, say it. Are we in middle school where I’m avoiding answering you because I don’t want to hurt you? Are we back in the sand pit where you ask me a question but I don’t want to be your friend so I leave you in the sandpit to play with the weeds in the back of the school yard?

If you’re going to profess to being a man and a woman, you need to be real with yourself first and foremost. Stop doing things that will make someone question your true intentions, tell someone what your intentions are and if you feel you’re going to stray from that, leave them alone. I don’t get how you want to stress someone about the validity of a relationship and whether they can be true to you, but you can’t even be true to yourself about the type of person you are.

I am so used to women being shady, I didn’t even realize men were like this too. Everyone can’t be real and honest though and this is something as an adult I need to accept. I can write about this, make jokes, talk about someone in this very blog but until I realize that not everyone has the fortitude to be a man or a woman I will forever be affected by this.

But then again, I am a really finicky person. In saying this, it may not have been your intention to be shady but I read your actions as that and I will step back. We could be talking or we could be best friends, if you show me that you act a certain way when I interact with you, honey boo take this to your priest in confession, I WILL NEVER ask the same thing again. In fact, if we even speak again, would be a joke. I’m too real and honest for bullshit, my patience can’t deal with it and neither can my blood pressure.

I just can’t take you saying and doing one thing, but then at another time and point everything reads SHADY ABOUT YOU. I think I’m going to look into becoming a lesbian now, I’m really sick of this.

I’m out lovelies. xoxoxo


Hey Lovelies!

Vacation is over, and trust me I have enough material to vent for another year or so. Men we love em, but we don’t need em, we want them so we make a decision to put up with their bullshit. However, I cannot allow a man to send me crazy in my head…I must vent…I must write, I must keep out of the slammer for 2012 and 2013. Amen.

Kelly Clarkson sang a beautiful song about the trouble with love, and she was right. But allow me to spin off and discuss, “the trouble with game.” Now the real trouble with game is everyone and their momma believe they have game. Men who were “players” in their day think they know the game and can wrap up any woman. While he may be successful in wrapping women up it won’t be mature pussy. This is 2012, don’t get me wrong women are still choosing the assholes and getting their heart broken but in terms of intelligence of the game   we are much smarter than we were 12 years ago. In fact, some women will spin men in a new game they have never seen and straight mess them up for years to come.

That’s the thing with men if I had a dollar for every man who told me he was different, I would go in every strip club in this country and BALL ALL THE WAY OUT! Yes, it is that serious. But I’d like to say to any man that reads this…women aren’t as dumb as we play. I’m extremely intelligent and educated and I would play dumb as a way to hold my cards before I lay them all out on a table. For example, I’m not an inquisitive woman, I trust my man, UNTIL he gives me a reason to not trust him. After that I question everything he does. Funny thing is, I know more about him than he thinks, but because I’m holding my cards for when I really need them, he doesn’t know that. I can ask him a question and know the answer but I’d like to see what type of man I have. Any man can give you the impression that they’re honest, that anything you ask they’ll answer but it takes a real man to be the person they illustrate themselves to be. With that being said, women KNOW exactly what they’re asking and why, and if you really had game you would answer her.

Game, that word again. The word that tricks people into thinking they have to lie and be shady to prove they have game. Funny thing is, real game means you tell the truth, tell a woman or man your intentions and let them decide what they’re going to do. Not lie to them, conceal your intentions and then expect them to just hold you down. Game recognizes game and I bet a lot of you men look unfamiliar.  So when men say women lie better, I laugh because they don’t. Women answer your questions, tell you what you need to know, they’re honest a happy woman that is. Piss that woman off and you have a 2012 version of Mark Morrison. Not only is she being honest with you, she’s telling you she just wants someone to provide for her, she can f-k with them occasionally but she doesn’t want to give you the impression she wants something else.

The trouble with game is men are the only ones claiming it but women have became so much better at it that when men do it, it’s obvious right away what’s going on. The trouble with game is, everyone should just drop it, be honest, say what they want and stop playing GAMES!

Love ya’ll xoxo


Hey Lovelies,

Obama is back in the White House for another 4 years, yummy!

So, I try to give everyone a fair chance in life, whether this makes me an optimist or an ass, whatever. But I’m beginning to think everyone is the same, they just lie differently.

I swear I have THE biggest joke for you guys but for privacy purposes I’ll refrain. I try to tell women that all men aren’t the same, they aren’t all dogs and there are some out there that may change your mind. But I’m having the hardest time believing that or even giving you the conviction that I believe that. I’m sure they’re out there, I just won’t be attempting to find out anytime soon.

I mean is honesty too much to ask? Or because I’m expecting honesty, am I already asking for too much? Is it too much work to be a man, a provider, the dixk holder, the head of the house and honest? Am I expecting too much of our counterparts? Maybe I am.

Or maybe women are too steadfast in what they believe something to be, even if they are given the “truth” they can’t/won’t accept it because they believe they know it to be something else? Help me out here, I’m really on the line of thinking that everyone is the same, they just lie differently.

 

xoxox Love ya’ll.