I'm a single girl dating in the city. Sometimes it's funny

Tag Archives: vanilla

Hey Lovelies,

Love knows no color...

Yesterday I was told if I dated out my race, that I was a sell out, so here I am venting.

Did I miss the opportunity to subscribe to the “black women’s handbook”? Where is the rule that says that I cannot and should not date out of my race? I suppose because I was born black I should stick to what I know? What if I was born black but raised around white people, then do I dated mixed because I suppose that makes the most sense? Right..

Most of us have already been exposed to what the opposite gender has to offer, but for the single ones we’re still browsing.  We are well aware that the negatives and positives of men come in every color, ethnicity and race, so it’s not as if I’m potentially dating a white man to escape the negatives of the black race. I just made a decision to try everything once before I knock it entirely. I can’t knock a white man if I dated them and loved them, it is simply a preference.

Why does it even matter ? Don’t we all wish for happiness? What if you met a man that understood you perfectly, treated you like a queen, worshiped the ground you walk on and puts Christ first? Would you turn him down because he’s not of your race, would you really risk your one chance at true happiness because he’s not what you’re used to? If you said yes to turning him down, you have the potential to be a clown and lonely forever, congratulations.

However, I get it. Underlying race issues stem from racial issues that date back to slavery. A lot of black people associate interracial dating with violent issues as slave masters used to rape black women and a lot of people can’t accept the fact that this is the past and like everything else, we must let go. Then there’s the issue of empowering and black love, two theories that have nothing to do with the issue itself.

I can be an empowered black woman by realizing that love knows no color or race, that feelings or emotions do not see color or race and ultimately taking the step to date outside of my race. I can experience REAL LOVE without it being labeled black love or interracial love because in my mind, I’m not restrained by issues of race or color- all I want is the best and I’ll take it in any color as long as it is real!

Way I see it, is once you’re happy in your life what race or ethnicity someone dates or someone prefers to date isn’t your business at all. I can admit I used to be a little bothered seeing black men date white women then I realized my insecurity came from my insecurity regarding my value. A lot of the times when we’re bothered by who someone chooses to dates it speaks volumes about the battles we’re facing internally. At the same time my issues were hypocritical, because I had previously dated white guys and saw no issue, but when it came to seeing black men with white women, I felt offended as if it was personal. I dealt with my issues and now I can’t even borrow a care to give about who dates who; it is quite frankly none of my business and I wish that everyone somehow finds happiness.

Then there’s the joke that maybe I can’t handle a strong black man and I find it hilarious. I can handle any man strong or weak that comes my way, but a man isn’t defined by his race and more often than not it’s the man and not the race. For example; meet Jay-John Turner, clearly from the first name he’s black (haha) and he’s by society’s standard a strong black man but we just don’t get along. It has nothing to do with him being undeniably strong, we just don’t match. Breaking away from Jay-John has nothing to do with him being black and strong but it has everything to do with his personality and who he is! This is a heavy criticism from angry black men when I mention that I’m very open to interracial dating. As a black man calling women weak and criticizing the fact that she made a decision for her happiness doesn’t make us want to stay and date you guys. Well at least it doesn’t make me want to stay, it makes me look harder! It shows the insecurity that black men still have with white men and the battle they must be fighting within. I’d really hate to harbor all that hate for someone I don’t even know based on their skin color. Ish is just sad..

At the end of the day, a lot of ya’ll need to chill and face the facts!! White men are dating black women and enjoying them. Some white men do not even consider white women because of the awe and admiration they have for black sisters. They see the strength, the power and the struggles and desire to be with one. I don’t even know the last time I’ve heard a black man desire a black woman like that. Most black men are always talking about that pu$$y and the blocks etc, etc.

Time to get back to seeing women for the beauty they are and loving them regardless of their choices. Or else black men will find themselves losing “their” black women to other races.

You’re not a sell out because you believe in finding happiness and looking beyond someone’s color and race, you’re open minded and intelligent. You shouldn’t be bullied or criticized for your choices because at the end of the day when you find happiness, the people that criticized you will still be mad and guess what? Let them be, they have loads to work on.

—Here ends my rant–

Love ya’ll xoxo